Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
