i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Screwed.edu
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
