I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
