Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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