dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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