using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
