I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
