yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
