I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
