She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize