i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i now understand why vodka
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
