Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
