just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
