***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
