HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
