why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
