just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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