sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
