there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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