So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
