it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
