i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
