Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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