I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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