It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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