Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
