i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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