smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
