What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
