That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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