Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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