Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my being single is dangerous.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
