some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
love makes seman taste better
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
