if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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