One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
