What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
