So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
They took my balls.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
