I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
