maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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