it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will be naked everywhere
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
