idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
