gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
