i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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