sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
