I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
