I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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