these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am never drinking with the goths again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
