do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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