Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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