I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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