Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
