The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
