If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
In America we eat man semen.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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