What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
