So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she looked like the before picture.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize