Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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