make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
