Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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