It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
