I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
