the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize