I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
either way he was missing a nipple.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
