I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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