No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
