Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just had sex on a roof
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
