I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he's gonorrhea incarnate
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
