wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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