Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You ruined the universe
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
