I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Come on in and take your pants off
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