you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's shark week go big or go home
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize