Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
