I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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