He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
